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  Princess: Secrets to Share

  Jean Sasson

  Copyright

  Jean Sasson has asserted her right under the Copyright, to be identified as the author of this work.

  Princess: Secrets to Share

  Copyright © 2014 by The Sasson Corporation

  9781939481405

  All rights reserved. This book may not be duplicated in any way without the express written consent of the author, except in the form of brief excerpts or quotations for the purposes of review. The information contained herein is for the personal use of the reader and may not be incorporated in any commercial programs or other books, databases, or any other kind of software without the written consent of the publisher or author. Making copies of this book, or any portion of it, for any purpose other than your own, is a violation of United States copyright laws.

  Cover design by Natanya Wheeler

  Cover image © Bigstock

  This book is a work of nonfiction. In some cases names have been changed to protect the privacy of others."

  All that is written here is real. Some of the stories are very happy while some stories are tragically sad, but all are true. A few names have been changed to protect those who would come to great harm should their true identity be known. But the names have been revealed for many others.

  —Jean Sasson and Princess Sultana al-Saud

  Dedication

  This book is dedicated to a brave man, Raif Badawi,

  a man who has given up his freedom,

  to fight for freedom for all.

  Such a worthy man should be known by the world.

  The hearts of so many are with you, Raif Badawi.

  A Note from Jean Sasson

  Human beings are complex, diverse, creative, and often indecipherable. Whether genius or ordinary, disappointing or inspirational, kind or evil, the human mind, with its 86 billion nerve cells and innumerable nerve fibers, is incomparable in the known universe.

  Exploring its complexity and power in all its colors, shapes, and furrows will hopefully lead us to an understanding of our world and our place in it. There is one thing I know for certain: If human beings survive for a billion years, writers will never run out of material, due to the strangeness, beauty, and unique nature of our marvelously intricate minds.

  I am pleased that readers walk this path of discovery with me.

  So, turn the page and let us begin this latest journey into the lives of some remarkable human beings.

  Foreword from Princess Sultana

  The Challenge of Keeping Secrets

  A good Muslim must keep secrets.

  For non-Muslim readers who may feel surprise at hearing this disclosure, I will briefly explain the motivation for secret-keeping in Islamic societies.

  For readers who do not know, the Muslim world is unique when it comes to secret-keeping. Certainly, no human secret is safe in most societies. For those who have read newspapers and magazines published in Great Britain or America, you have likely been scandalized at the malicious articles. Such stories are written with the sole intent of vilifying high-profile celebrities, or even ordinary people who are so unfortunate as to gain the notice of journalists. Many innocent lives have been damaged by such disagreeable media attention.

  While there are many negatives in my own society, there are positives, too. One is that you will never read slanderous reportage in Saudi newspapers or magazines. Muslims are taught that anything told to others that does not serve a virtuous purpose is considered backbiting, which is highly improper conduct for any follower of Islam. Thus, it is essential to conceal secrets that protect us and those we know. This wisdom came from the Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be upon Him), who once told a companion, “Whomever sees a defect in a Muslim, and overlooks that defect, is the same as one who saves the life of a young girl who has been buried alive.”

  For readers familiar with Saudi Arabia, you know that female babies born in our country once faced the peril of being buried alive. Before the Prophet Muhammad prohibited the heinous practice, there was widespread acceptance that fathers or mothers could end the life of a female infant thus. Even after the Prophet’s command to cease the custom, some unfeeling parents and unfaithful Muslims defied his ruling. They accepted the custom of freeing a family of a female child who might possibly bring dishonor upon them. This is a fear that still inhabits numerous parental hearts in my country, where mothers and fathers still endlessly fret that a daughter will witlessly conduct herself in such a manner as to bring them shame.

  Truthfully, during the time of ignorance, most families believed that there were no beneficial aspects of birthing a daughter. Thus, tiny girls were taken to the soft sands, where her father scooped out a small grave, placing the innocent and trusting infant in the ground to be buried alive, to die a terrifying, gruesome death.

  But those fathers, or other male family members, who heeded the wisdom of the Prophet to take action to save the lives of innocent female infants were considered the best of men. And thus believers take the Prophet’s words to mean that to keep secrets that will expose others to idle gossip or societal reprimand is the same as saving a life.

  Although I have been one of the first to acknowledge some of the undesirable facets of my society, I also take pleasure in revealing the advantages of life in Saudi Arabia. One such benefit is related to the Prophet’s words against backbiting and telling lies. If one is born a Saudi Arabian, there will be no fear that others will fabricate falsehoods about you or those you love. If such should happen, that person will be harshly punished. Such disapproval, and guaranteed punishment from society, stills the tongues of many gossips.

  In my Muslim society, the loss of one’s reputation is considered as serious as physical death. This means that there have been several legal cases in Saudi Arabia where those found guilty of slandering others have earned a term in prison, topped by public and painful flogging. Potential backbiters take heed!

  As a young girl, I often sat listening at the knee of my beloved mother, a Muslim woman who lived a life of devotion to all things Islamic. I clearly remember the day she made her point about keeping secrets, when she gently grasped my small tongue between her fingers and slowly pulled, telling me, “Sultana, the Prophet once took hold of his own tongue, saying, ‘Keep this under control.’ ”

  During those long-ago babyish years, I felt a rush of pleasure to be encouraged by my darling mother to keep my tongue quiet from spilling secrets. Those declarations from her own impeccable mouth illuminated the truth that nothing good would come of publicizing mischievous behavior. Truthfully, though, due to my youthful inability to judge my own actions in a mature manner, I applied her counsel to self only, meaning that while I took care to guard and keep secret my own naughty behavior, the wicked ways of my nemesis, my brother Ali, were told to all.

  As all of you know from the stories of my youth and adult life, there is no denying that I never fully absorbed my mother’s heartfelt guidance when it came to my brother.

  And for those who will say that I have exposed many secrets about my own society, I will not disagree, but I caution any who criticize by reminding all that my conduct was, and is, discharged by my most cautious handling of the subjects: I have taken the greatest care to shield the real names of those whose actions I expose, although if their names have already been revealed in the courts of Saudi law, or in Saudi publications, the world already knows their secrets prior to my own disclosure.

  Due to the teachings of the Prophet, all the Muslims I have known take deep satisfaction in keeping secrets. I am no exception to this rule when it comes to secrets I wish to keep. My secretive deeds have been noted by my husband, Kareem, who has often remarked that no
Muslim he has ever known could personally match my propensity for secret-keeping. When he says these words to me, I smile politely, never admitting to Kareem that I feel little remorse when I keep important secrets from him, the man who is my husband. Then I acknowledge to myself that while I am a loving person who cares for others I am an imperfect human being.

  For all who follow the news, you know that these days there is tremendous instability rippling across the Arab world. During such chaotic times, secrets explode in huge numbers, most kept from public scrutiny. In the past year, I have been told secrets kept by the men who are the highest officials in our Saudi government. I have also been privy to secrets withheld by royal cousins and, most importantly to me, I have known of secrets hidden by members of my own family. But most dear to my heart are the secrets told me by abused and unhappy women. These distraught women have unburdened their confidences to me. Many have pleaded for me to reveal their secrets to the world. Their purpose is a fine one: They believe that if attention is drawn to their plight, other women in jeopardy of receiving the same ill treatment might be saved.

  Catastrophically, the Middle East is burning, with extreme violence and war raging across Syria, Iraq, Libya, and Yemen, ending many lives and threatening others. In times of conflict, women and children bear the brunt of men’s violence. Those women who are raped and brutalized carry their own heavy secrets, and are willing to share their darkest moments only with other women. Do not believe they are not courageous, for they are the most heroic of the brave just to continue living. They would shout their outrage from the highest mountain if not for compelling justifications. Most importantly, they are struggling to ensure that their small children will not be left without a mother.

  Tragically, in ultraconservative cultures, women must live in apprehension of the men of their own family, as well as in dread of the fierce condemnation of a strict Muslim society that sides against any female who finds herself a victim of a man. Alas, when innocent women are raped in my corner of world, they will often be held liable for their misfortune. This is true, and I will tell you stories that confirm this outrage.

  Although I will reveal important secrets in this book, I will carefully divulge only those that will cause no harm to innocents. I will keep the names of girls and women anonymous, where they have requested this. Should I reveal names or secrets already disclosed by other sources—sources who have labeled the secret keepers by their true names—I am not the one who has caused the harm.

  An important secret I kept was told to me by my husband, Kareem, who warned me of the bombings soon to commence against Yemen. I nervously kept the secret, for our entire country’s safety was at stake. But now the whole world knows that our new king, Salman, is sending Saudi pilots to war against the Houthi fighters in neighboring Yemen. Those of you who have read the history of Saudi Arabia will know that it is uncommon for us to go to war against any nation, or any fighting group. While it is true that my warrior grandfather, Abdul Aziz, used combat against various opposing tribes to consolidate the vast lands of our country, once Saudi Arabia was formed as a viable nation, he tossed his sword to the side and employed his wisdom to pursue diplomatic approaches to solve political dilemmas.

  But now my country is at physical war against rebels striving to occupy and control Yemen, our southern neighbor, with whom we share affection through our ancient ties and personal relationships. This troubling conflict is intertwined with a verbal dispute with Iran—a country that created no problems for its neighbors during the rule of the shah but since the 1979 revolution, when the clerics devoured the country and looked beyond Iran’s borders to arouse the anger of many, a sense of dread of what would one day come has flickered in all our Saudi hearts.

  Now it seems that the day we feared has arrived. With Iran and Saudi Arabia at odds in Yemen, with Iran supporting the Houthi rebels while Saudi Arabia is fighting them, perhaps our two countries will end up physically at war. Should this frightening scenario occur, the entire region will burn, threatening all of the Middle East and beyond. Due to the enormous ramifications of total war in the Middle East, every rational person living should pray that this simmering conflict does not erupt into a full-fledged war—one that will adversely affect our entire world.

  For the moment, however, Yemen and the countries of the Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC), consisting of Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Kuwait, Oman, Qatar, and the United Arab Emirates, are those most affected by the simmering battle.

  While I care about all who suffer, my thoughts dwell on the women and children, for those are the ones most harmed in times of chaos and war. Nothing is more important to me than the right for women to live in dignity and freedom.

  The personal problems of Yemen’s women and children were always challenging, as females suffered greatly from raging gender discrimination even before the Houthi rebels assumed control of the country’s government. Now, with full-blown war, women’s lives are nearly unendurable.

  These shattering times in Yemen have greatly affected my life and the lives of those in my family. Kareem and I have agreed and disagreed, according to the incidents creating alarm throughout the region. I am sorry to say that I have kept secrets from him and he has kept secrets from me, which has created turmoil in our home. But through it all we remain a family, and nothing can change the love we feel for each other.

  1 - Yemen Is Burning

  There are times when we are so tightly aligned with a person, or with a country, that we overlook the importance of its presence, sometimes forgetting that it even exists. This happened to me. For the past twenty years, one of the principal countries adjacent to Saudi Arabia faded from my thoughts. The nation of which I am speaking is Yemen, a country with whom Saudi Arabia shares a 1,100-mile border. The crossings between our two countries remained porous for many years, with Yemenis and Saudis moving at will, but after the upsurge in radical uprisings and violence in the Middle East, my country began building a physical wall, known as the Saudi–Yemen barrier. This structure is ten-feet high, and has been filled with concrete and outfitted with electronic surveillance. The wall has been a point of contention between our two governments, with Yemen claiming it is as ruinous for Yemenis as the Israeli West Bank barrier is for Palestinians. This stinging rebuke, comparing Saudi Arabia to Israel, caused the men in my family to stop and start building walls in bursts of activity. But, with increasing tensions in Yemen, they refuse to allow emotion to temper their plans. The Saudi–Yemen barrier has now become a reality for our two countries.

  With the continuing eruptions of violence in my region of the world, it is heartrending to admit that perhaps every country would benefit from such a barrier.

  Now the Saudis are at war, and perhaps this much criticized barrier will help to save the lives of some people.

  For certain, with all that has currently happened, those reflections on Yemen and its people, which had been waning of late, have recently been ignited to become a mental obsession.

  It was on Jumada t-Tania 1436 (March 25, 2015, Gregorian calendar) that I felt my passion first burn again. This was the crucial day that my uncle Salman—the new king of Saudi Arabia after the death of King Abdullah on 2 Rabi Ath-Thani 1456 (January 23, 2015)—commanded Saudi fighter pilots to unleash their bombs over the disruptive Houthi rebels in Yemen. From the first moment of Saudi military action, memories collected over a lifetime sparked in my mind, flaring as brightly as those exploding bombs.

  While I will not elaborate regarding the lengthy history of the Houthi rebels in Yemen, I will reveal some facts about these insurgents that rarely make the news reports in other countries. I know that readers of my books frequently correspond with the author and even send me secondhand messages to say that they enjoy the history behind the events that affect my life and the lives of other women in the area. I respect the reader’s preference, for it is good to know the background of important current events.

  The Houthi insurgency has been battling the Yemeni reg
ime for a decade. This rebellion, named after Hussein Badreddin al-Houthi, is causing enormous despair in Yemen and apprehension in Saudi Arabia and other Gulf countries. Hussein al-Houthi’s life and history is noteworthy, despite the fact I am not in agreement with his sayings or teachings.

  The current troubles did not stem from the usual Sunni-Shia problems, although al-Houthi was a pious Shia religious leader who became well known in Yemen, and in Saudi Arabia, in 2002, when he chanted a sarkha, or the slogan of the Houthi. The cleric’s words were his song: “God is Great. Death to America. Death to Israel. Curse the Jews. Victory to Islam.” While I fully agree that God is great, the remainder of al-Houthi’s provocative sarkha is unnecessarily confrontational. This hostile slogan is the symbol of the Houthi—words, fighting words, which they emblazon on their flags. By their slogan alone, one can presume that the rebels are fractious negotiators and thus far no one has been able to convince them to relax their combatant attitude.

  Furthermore, Hussein al-Houthi gave a speech in 2002 that divulged his boiling hatred for America. In his defiant speech (which was very popular with the masses), he asked: “Why did America come to Yemen? Under the pretext of spreading democracy and fighting terror? Did they come to be briefed on the situation in Yemen, and then decide what kinds of projects were needed for Yemen’s development? Or, did they come to plow the lands? Did they come to make beehives? Did the Americans come to work with us, or did they come for something else? America is the greatest devil and lies behind every evil in the world.”

  Although America, like every other country that has ever existed, is not perfect, only the ignorant would say that one country is behind every evil in the world. Such foolish statements create disrespect for the person who utters them. Ask yourself only one question: Were there no evils on this earth prior to the formation of America in 1776?